In the last few weeks I have been reading a lot of interesting factoids about both the year and the decade that just ended. One study reported that over 80% of women surveyed said they were busier than ever in 2009. Did that mean that they would be making resolutions to be less busy in 2010? Apparently not. In spite of an overwhelming interest in finding “work/life balance” most of those women said that they could not think of anything they would be able to let go of in the New Year.

As a widowed working mother of a 13 year old, I have been trying to achieve some sort of work life balance for years. Well, to be honest, I have been thinking about this elusive notion of work life balance when in fact, like the women surveyed, I find myself getting busier and busier. In the last year, I have become active on Twitter, Facebook and Linked In, and started this blog as well as a vblog. My e-news went from a quarterly to a monthly publication. Those in the know say this type of activity is a must for “solopreneurs” like me.

While all this social networking adds considerably to my work load, I find I really like this new way of connecting with others and being able to reach a wider audience. The conclusion I came to when reading about those women was that I would be joining their ranks, as I couldn’t really think of much I could let go of. In fact, it is much easier for me to think of additional activities I would like to be doing, if only I could find the time.

But then I started to ask myself – what is the notion of “work/life balance” really about? Is it possible or even desirable to balance out work and life? What if, as in my case, your work is very much your life? Is being balanced really that desirable an aim? For me a big problem with this whole work life balance issue is that since I can never achieve it, it just becomes something else I can’t achieve – a potential source of stress, and honestly, who needs more stress.

As I thought about my goals for the new year and the new decade, I realized that I don’t necessarily want work/life balance. What I want is to enjoy what I am doing in my life. I want to spend the limited time I have on things that are meaningful to me. That is not about finding balance. That is about establishing priorities. It is about being clear on what is really important to me, being clear on what I want to be spending my time on. It is about identifying what I am currently doing that I don’t like doing, and then figuring out how to not do it any more.

Case in point – keeping my books. This is something that I can’t really let go of, in that it has to be done. However, while it has to be done, the question is whether or not I really need to be doing it.

The first day back in the office after the break I had to update my Quickbooks data file. This is something I absolutely hate doing. As I sat there on January 4th, I got grumpier and grumpier and pretty soon I heard myself saying things like I hate my work, I hate my job…all of which is patently untrue. I love my work. I love my job. I just don’t love all the parts of it, particularly those that involve data entry, administration and marketing. For years I have been using excuses like I can’t afford more help, I can’t find the right help, although in fact I only came to that erroneous conclusion because the right help was not found in the first person I hired and then I gave up.

It occurred to me that what I needed to do was get serious about finding help for those tasks that need to be done that I don’t like doing. I realized that establishing priorities would be a waste of time unless one of my priorities was to make sure I hire others to do the stuff that I don’t like doing. I had to get busy finding others to do my unwanted busy work.

You know how they say that when you ask for what you want, when you are aligned with your purpose, things just fall into place? Well, the very next day I had a meeting with Penny Deming, founder of SHEfinancial group inc. (www.shefinancialgroup.com). In the course of our conversation I talked about my bookkeeping dilemma, and wouldn’t you know it – she had someone great to recommend. A week later I have a new bookkeeper, and have freed up some precious time to do stuff I like, like writing this blog post.

I think we need to reframe this whole notion of “work/life balance”. We all know that nothing in life actually maintains a state of balance, so why try for the impossible? Rather that looking for balance I think we should focus on making choices that ensure we are busily engaged with activities that are meaningful to us, that honor who we are.

I for one like being busy. I just want to be busy with things that have value to me, that are meaningful to me, and that are aligned with my purpose. That would, I realize, be a fundamentally respectful way to live, in that I would be supporting myself to succeed – exactly what I advise leaders to do to demonstrate respect to others.

So what about you? Are you supporting yourself for success? Have you prioritized what is really important to you? Why not bid farewell to the idea of work life balance and live an unbalanced life of meaning and purpose.