REFLECTIONS ON THE ROAD TO RESPECT is my complementary monthly e-newsletter. I started writing these articles in 2006 to support my clients in building a respectful workplace culture. You will find all of them posted here.
I love to write and am fortunate to get many opportunities to do so. You will find lots of valuable information in articles I have written for business focused publications.
Erica Pinsky
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Lessons Learned from Turkey Lifting
January 5, 2011
I do a holiday dinner every year with the friends and family and I always get a free range utility grade turkey. For those of you unfamiliar with these terms, utility grade simply means there is a flaw, so it can’t be grade A.
For some reason I cannot fathom, although I order a 14 pound turkey every year, I can never seem to get one at that weight. They are either bigger or smaller. This year the butcher advised me to go for the almost 17 pound bird, as other than a tear in its skin, it was, according to him, perfect. A bit more than I needed, but hey, I could make turkey soup, turkey chilli, turkey salad, turkey curry, turkey tacos …
If you have ever cooked a turkey, or actually even if you haven’t you will know that you have to lift it at least twice: once to get it into oven, and once to get it out. You will have to take it out to check it and remove the cover, then get the gravy out, take the turkey out to carve, which means at the end of the day there can be a fair amount of lifting involved.
Sometime after my guests arrived I started to have pain in my lower back and hip. As a retired dancer with a list of injuries longer than my holiday shopping list, I was unconcerned. I have had this issue for years, on and off. Just need to stretch it out and it will resolve as usual.
Well it didn’t. By the end of the evening I could barely walk and the pain was getting beyond bearable. As my dinner was on the 23rd I was able to get in to the chiropractor first thing the next day and the pain level was drastically reduced. Not gone, but less.
No worries I thought, it will go away in a few days. But it didn’t. It got worse. And worse. I tried everything that normally worked but nothing did. Being in pain every day can be a bit wearing but I pushed away thoughts of arthritis and hip replacements and decided I needed a massage. That would fix things.
I have seen the same massage therapist for years. He is, in a word, fabulous. I would never think of going anywhere else. I knew he was away for the holidays. I assumed he would be back at work on the 4th along with everyone else.
Well, you know what they say about assumptions. By this morning, when I could neither sit nor stand without intense pain, I started to panic. Despite having left 2 phone messages and sent an email I had not heard back. I knew my therapist was either ill or still on holiday. By 8:30 a.m. I collapsed crying on the kitchen floor. Then I literally picked myself up and realized that though I was wary to try someone new, I needed to find another therapist. And fast.
By 10 am I was at the clinic that had been recommended by my chiropractor’s office. The therapist I saw took an approach totally unlike anything I have ever experienced. I learned that she was an osteopath as well as a massage therapist. Osteopathy comes from 2 Greek words meaning structure and pain. It is intended to provide pain relief by rebalancing the whole structure of the body.
And let me tell you, relieve pain it does. If I was a religious person, I would be in some holy place giving thanks. My pain is virtually gone. It is like a miracle.
But you know what is so interesting about this miracle is that it occurred by accident. I would never have tried this therapist if my therapist had been here. This morning I was viewing his absence as a catastrophe. A few hours later and I have a wonderful new resource available to support me to be successful and productive.
As Charles Udall once said “In life you will always be faced with a series of God ordained opportunities brilliantly disguised as problems and challenges.” At this time of the year, many of us are thinking about our lives and making resolutions, but as we all know, change is hard. Patterns are hard to break. It feels comfortable to stick with what is familiar and what has worked, or what we think has worked. We cling to what we believe to be true.
After my experience today I have decided to make 2011 a year of exploration, of experimentation. I am determined to increase my curiosity quotient - to be really open to new experiences, new approaches, new ways of doing things. I want to ensure that I am looking for the opportunities that might be disguised as problems and challenges.
What about you?
Seeking Success? Speak Up and Sing Your Praises Sister
January 19, 2011
Earlier today I listened to a presentation by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO for a TedWoman conference called Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders.
We are familiar with the premise. I myself have blogged on this topic numerous times. As Ms. Sandberg states, women are not making it to the top in any profession anywhere in the world.
She shared some depressing statistics: out of 190 heads of state only 9 are women. Only 13% of all parliamentary seats are held by women. IN the corporate world, women comprise only 15% of c level jobs and corporate board positions. That percentage has been frozen since 2002 and are now trending backwards. Even in the non-profit sector, where women dominate the workplace, only 20% of senior positions are held by women.
She reaffirmed something I blogged about in August. Women with children are hampered in their careers. Ms. Sandberg framed this as women facing harder choice, borne out by the fact that , among US managers 2/3 of married men have children, while only 1/3 of women have children.
I tend to focus on systemic issues when examining this reality, the norms we have both in our workplaces and in our society that have not changed to allow the realization of the vision of equality of opportunity which underlies human and civil rights laws.
Ms. Sandberg alluded to these but chooses instead to focus on gender related behavioural issues. Women tend to underestimate their achievements. We don’t take credit for what we do. While men tend to say I am awesome, women say I had help/support. Her conclusion – no one get a promotion if they don’t think they deserve their success.
We are too prepared to take a back seat. This process often starts as soon as we start thinking about the possibility of having a child. We continue to do the bulk of work in the home, rather than, as Ms. Sandberg suggests, demanding that our partner take an equal share. In a way, what she described seemed almost like self-sabotage.
She shared a fascinating Harvard study which confirmed that success and liability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. What jumped out at me in this case was that this was true among both women and men. Women find successful women less likable. Do we still really believe that girls should be sugar and spice and everything nice? Why are we clinging to such outmoded concepts?
Ms. Sandberg concluded her presentation by sharing her hopes for her two children, a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. While she wants them both to be successful, she hopes that her daughter will not only succeed but that she will be liked for her accomplishments.
While I have every intention to continue to work for systemic change, listening to Ms. Sandberg really clarified for me that we as women must work to challenge our inner beliefs. We must start to really listen to ourselves and to each other. We must catch ourselves when we minimize our accomplishments. We must give feedback to our colleagues and friends when we hear them doing the same. We must become skilled at speaking up, asserting ourselves to ensure we have a place at the table. We must learn how to negotiate and earn our true worth. We must learn to like successful women and encourage our daughters to do the same.
Sure it would be easier if the system changed to facilitate our success, but as Ms. Sandberg points out that simply is not happening. I need to break these patterns to facilitate my own success and I am committed to doing so. Yes I am grateful to all those that support me but from now on I am going to speak up and say yes I am awesome, I am amazing, I am successful and I am proud of my accomplishments.
Are you ready to join me? Speak up sisters. I’m listening and ready to sing your praises.
Les Brown – Transforming Lives and Communities from the Inside Out
January 21, 2011
All of us have people in our lives that we consider mentors, individuals that may have helped us, supported us, inspired us. As I was reading an article today in Speaker magazine I reconnected with someone that had a profound influence on my life, despite the fact that I have only met him once for under 5 minutes.
One evening around twenty years ago I sat down my couch and turned on the TV. I had just returned from the dance studio, after 6 hours of teaching. I was at a transitional point in my life. Much as I loved dancing, the financial realities of making a living combined with living with a growing collection of injuries had me thinking about retiring and making a career change.
I surfed and landed on PBS, at the time one of my favourite stations. There was a man on a stage speaking to an audience. He was talking about people who were unhappy with their lives. He shared a story about a woman that had told him that every day when she walked into work, she felt like a refrigerator dropped on top of her.
Within minutes I was transfixed. I was completely drawn into what this man was saying, and ran to find a note pad so I could jot stuff down. Towards the end of the presentation he shared an old African proverb which resonated for me “If there’s no enemy within, the enemy without can do us no harm.” Then he ended the presentation with a warm laugh and said something about being Mamie Brown’s baby boy, Les and was off air.
At that moment I knew what I wanted to do, though I didn’t know what it was called or how to do it. I wanted to do what I had just seen Les Brown do - speak to people, inspire people, motivate them to change their lives, to be, as I refer to it now, their own best advocate.
Les Brown and I are now members of the professional speaker’s community. A few years ago I saw him at the annual convention in San Diego and took that opportunity to share my story with him, to tell him how he had influenced my life.
Today I read about a new project he has founded; The Greatness Center. His goal is to train and develop 10,000 voices of hope in the next five years. He wants to change how people live their lives, because he believes that violence, particularly among youth, is directly related to our mental attitude. “That’s how people live their lives, because of the stories they believe about themselves.”
Les Brown dreams big. He has 3 goals for the center. The first is to transform the mindset of those living in his home town of Chicago, through a movement of mentors and coaches. The second is to give people ways to increase their skill sets. The third is to transform todays culture of entertainment into a culture of achievement, recognizing that that more Americans cast a vote for American Idol than for the US President.
He wants to empower everyday people, transform people’s lives and their communities, from the “inside out.” He wants to tap into the power of hope. “When here is hope for the future, there’s power in the present. Today, people turn on each other instead of toward each other. “
Twenty years may have passed but I feel just as inspired by Les Brown today as I did then. What I want to say to him is thank you: for your vision, your passion, your perseverance. How can I help?
Care to join me?
The Energy of Change in Egypt
February 8, 2011
Like many of you I have been watching events unfold in Egypt. And, I am sure like many of you, I find myself filled with conflicting emotions: optimism, hope and fear.
Change, even when eagerly anticipated or sought, can be scary. We don’t know what the outcome of this revolution will be. We are hopeful it will mean the end of an era that saw the majority of Egyptians deprived of rights and opportunities. We are optimistic that this event will result in true democracy in Egypt. We are fearful as we have seen how such events become the opportunity for even more repressive regimes to seize power. The fact that the Muslim Brotherhood, an organization that is currently outlawed in Egypt was invited to participate in Sunday’s negotiations with the government is both encouraging and unsettling.
One thing that is critical for me is that this revolution results in access to rights and equality for everyone, not just those who happen to be born male. I cannot help but notice that the majority of protestors I see on TV are men. I see a few women, many of whom are wearing a hajib, chador or in some cases a burka. I wonder about the type of equality these women are seeking, and what they might actually get in the end.
While I have never spoken to any of these women, so have no idea what freedoms they are seeking, I had a great example of what I would like to see happen for them on Real Time with Bill Maher Friday night. Bill’s first guest was Egyptian-born Mona Eltahawy,award-winning columnist and an international public speaker on Arab and Muslim issues.
Ms. Eltahawy who currently resides in New York, is a powerful and articulate woman. I was impressed with both her energy, courage as well as her persistence during the interview. She characterized this as a revolution of youth who want real change, and have had enough of these “old men.” From her perspective, the religious right has been the only real opportunity for anyone to voice opposition to the Mubarak regime, which in large part accounts for some of the statistics that Mr. Maher quoted which seem to indicate that Egyptians would support a radical Islamic state. What people, in particular the young people are after, Ms. Eltahawy convincingly stated, is freedom, real freedom. Freedom to dream, to achieve their aspirations and succeed as she has.
Ms. Eltahawy’s voice enriches and empowers us all. I can’t help but wonder, however, if she would be able to express herself with the same freedom if she was living in Egypt, or elsewhere in the middle east, rather than in New York.
There can be no doubt that all of us would benefit if every country in the world supported individuals like Ms. Eltahawy to realize their full potential, if every country truly embraced the principals of democracy, rights and equality of opportunity for all. I can only hope that this will be the result of the energy of change that has been ignited in Egypt.
Power to the People - Triumph in Egypt
February 13, 2011
What a difference a day makes. Yesterday Mubarak was not stepping down. He asked the people to leave. The people said no, we’re staying. You leave. And the people triumphed. After 18 days of protests, Mubarak succumbed to the power of the people.
In the 80s, many people watched the dismantling of the Berlin wall. Event such as these, events where ordinary people triumph over those that oppress them are few and far between. While there are many unknowns in the situation in Egypt, I feel grateful to be alive to witness this event.
The examination of the dynamic of power is critical in my work with human rights harassment and bullying. Power of association is an important dynamic in a workplace. In complaints of bullying you see the power of association in the ganging or mobbing phenomenon, where a group of co-workers bands together to target one of the team.
I always talk about how employees can choose to access that power of association to deal with workplace disrespect. For example, if they are working for a bully boss I encourage them to speak to others on their team, to find “strength in numbers.” Given that the boss will always have positional power, getting a group of employees together to respectfully deliver feedback about what is not working has a much higher chance of success than does one on one employee to supervisor feedback about such an issue.
Mubarak was a pretty powerful guy. He has ruled for 30 years. The army has supported him. Most people in Egypt make less than $2.00 a day and while Mubarak has been socking away billions in Swiss bank accounts. But today the people forced him to step down. Their power trumped his.
Why has this occurred now? Is it just that people got so fed up they started to throw open the windows and shout out “I’m mad as hell and I ‘m not going to take it anymore” in Arabic.
No. In fact the people that started this revolution probably weren’t even alive when that movie came out. This is referred to as a revolution of the youth because this revolution started on Facebook. The people could not come together on the streets, so they joined Khaled Said on Facebook.
The revolution is as much a testament to the power of the internet as it is to the power of the people. Just as the internet facilitated this dramatic outcome in Egypt, it has allowed individuals like Julian Assange to expose information that those in positions of power would prefer be kept secret.
Assange founded Wikileaks to break down the walls of secrecy. The organization’s mandate is to blow the whistle on abuses of power. As Assange puts it “Truth is the essence of freedom. The main ingredient of truth is information, which is why people in power take such pains to manage it.” I am energized as I witness how the power of the internet can act to empower ordinary citizens.
I truly hope that this revolution brings real freedom to all citizens of Egypt, and that the power of the human spirit ignited through the power of the internet, surges to promote truth, human rights and democracy throughout the world.
Hope for our Global Community
February 16, 2011
Don’t you just love technology?
Most of the time it all works the way it should but the of course sometimes it doesn’t. Take my PVR, for example. Sometime last year my PVR decided that it no longer wishes to provide a series recording for The Mercer Report.
Oh sure, it says that the series recording is set up, but then it simply chooses not to record the show. I have tried everything within my limited arsenal to no avail. Given the number of other issues in my life which take priority, I decided to just input it manually every week.
Last night I turned to CBC about 15 minutes before the show was scheduled to start to set up the recording. Jeopardy was on. One of the players was a super computer developed by IBM called Watson.
This Watson is one saavy computer. He hears, processes information, talks and presses that answer button faster than the speed of sound. He was playing against the two supreme Jeopardy champions, but those humans were no match for Watson. When I started watching Watson had amassed over $30,000 while the humans had not yet managed to hit $5000.00.
Just as my curiosity was about to go into overdrive, a short feature on IBM’s Watson project came on. One of the first things I heard was how there is just too much out there now for us to be able to process efficiently. Many of us are in overload.
Whew! So it’s not just me who feels overwhelmed by the volume of information coming at me from a myriad of sources.
IBM set out to find a way to be able access and use this wealth of information effectively, in effect to create the computer that worked on the Star Ship Enterprise in Star Trek. Remember how Spock or Captain Kirk would ask the computer a question and it would respond in a human voice? Here lies the inspiration for Watson.
Now I am the farthest thing from a computer nerd or geek that you could possibly find. But I got enthusiastically inspired as I saw the possibilities that Watson holds – how, for example, a doctor anywhere in the world will be able to have access to the best diagnostic tools, the best and most effective treatments options in a matter of nanoseconds after inputting the query to Watson.
As IBM states “The possibilities for enriching our global community and accelerating the pace at which we can exploit and expand human knowledge, solve problems and help each other in ways never before imagined, rests on our ability to bring information technology out of the era of operating in computer terms and into the era of operating in human terms.”
One of the reasons I love social media is because of the ability it has provided for us to create a plethora of global communities. It allows us to connect with individuals we could never have the opportunity to meet and I know that this has already greatly enriched my life and my work.
It was technology that allowed the revolution in Egypt to build community and take hold. As we are witnessing this week, the energy of Egypt is now spreading like wildfire across the region. The possibility of real change for millions of people, for an increase in opportunity, equality and human rights has been ignited.
Communication is fundamental to community building. Recognition of our common interests, of our common humanity provides a foundation from which genuine dialogue can grow. When a patient in Africa can get the same access to medical treatment as one in North America, we start to break down the framework of inequality which separates us and fosters anger and hated. When we share the power of knowledge to benefit others rather than use it to disadvantage them we build trust and relationship.
Standing together to promote our common interests. Working together to support each other, build community and share knowledge. 2011 is starting off with what appears to me to be some encouraging signs of hope. Is it possible that there just might be a happy ending out there for our species after all?
What do you think?
Pink Shirt Day – Standing Together to Say No to Bullying
February 23, 2011
How do we stop bullying at school and in our workplaces? How can we replace a norm of disrespect with one of respect?
As someone dedicated to this outcome, I have spent a lot of time pondering this question. My experience working with victims of this destructive behaviour in the workplace is that many targets fail to recognize what is happening to them. Often by the time they figure it out, the emotional and physical damage has already been done.
I speak and write about workplace bullying because I want everyone to recognize the “red flags”: comments or behaviours that might indicate that bullying is happening. As I say in every presentation I give, knowledge is power. If we want to eradicate bullying we have to make sure everyone knows why that is important – not only to those targeted but to all of us.
Today is Pink Shirt Day. I love Pink Shirt Day, not only because it is helping to raise awareness about the destructive nature of bullying, but also because it is an incredible example of how each of us has the ability to make a profound difference in our world.
Today thousands of people in Canada and elsewhere are wearing pink to say no to bullying because back in September 2007, David Shepherd and Travis Price, Grade 12 students at a Nova Scotia high school made a choice to stand up for a Grade 9 student at their school who had been bullied and threatened for wearing a pink polo shirt on his first day of school.
Accessing the power of the internet they went online to let everyone in their school know that they had 50 pink shirts and tank tops, purchased at a local discount store, available for their fellow students to wear to school the next day. They encouraged everyone to show their support to end bullying by wearing pink.
Their campaign obviously resonated with their fellow students, because the next day the school was a “sea of pink,” a visible symbol to the bullies that things were going to change in their school. Bullying would no longer be tolerated. Bystanders would no longer participate and support the bullying with their silence and inaction. Their school was going to be a bully free zone.
Not only were the bullies reportedly never heard from again, their actions inspired today’s annual anti-bullying event, empowering thousands to stand together to support that same anti-bullying message.
Imagine what might happen if everyone made the same choice David and Travis did. Imagine what might result if all of us decided to take one small action to raise awareness and help stop bullying.
My daughter chose to wear pink to school today. I will be wearing pink for my meeting later today as well.
What about you?
Values.com – The Foundation for a Better Life
March 2, 2011
The main theme of my book Road to Respect: Path to Profit is that everyone succeeds when workplace practices are aligned with values, and in particular the ethical value of respect. The reason is simple; values are the glue that unite us in our humanity.
I share a story in the Road to Respect about an experience I had as a participant in a values exercise at a bullying symposium. In this exercise each individual was given a paper that listed 14 ethical values. The facilitator then divided us into groups. Each of us had to choose the five values that were most important to us as individuals. Then we had to tally our individual results and identify the five values that were most important to our group. Finally all of the groups reported back and the facilitators identified the five values that the majority of the groups had identified as most important.
The values that emerged were compassion, fairness, honesty, respect and responsibility. The facilitator then shared some information with us that quite frankly blew me away. Those five ethical values emerge consistently no matter who does that exercise. He produced graphs and charts that included the responses of very diverse groups of people in different parts of the globe. Whatever our gender, age, ethnicity and nationality, it seems we share common ethical values.
Often, however, our differences prevent us from starting the conversation to discover that shared connection. There can be no doubt that it is often difficult to see a reflection of these ethical values in modern society, which seems focused on individuality, greed and competitiveness. Who cares about you as long as I get more? We distract ourselves with the cult of celebrity, the acquisition of stuff, and focus on what we look like, as opposed to who we are and what we contribute.
Here in Canada we have a business focused television show. The ad for the show features one of the hosts saying “Greed is good.” I have to tell you that every time I hear line that I get angry. When exactly did greed become a good thing? I am not a religious person but isn’t greed included in the list of seven deadly sins, along with sloth, anger, pride lust, envy and gluttony?
Somewhere in the last 20 or so years, we shifted to a society where what used to be considered sins have been translated to virtues. It took the financial meltdown and its aftermath to expose what I believe is a values crisis in modern society. The question to be posed now is how we are going to respond.
I saw a sign of hope recently when I discovered values.com. This site is designed to encourage and inspire us to think about, and talk about our values. It states “The Foundation for a Better Life began as a simple idea to promote positive values. We believe that people are basically good and just need a reminder. And that the values we live by are worth more when we pass them on.”
This reminds me of the courageous and inspirational quote by Anne Frank. “Despite everything I believe that people are really good at heart.” The problem we face today is that we are so focused on the external, the cerebral, we are losing our ability to connect with what is in our hearts. We are losing our ability to trust our gut, our path to the collective consciousness that connects us all.
I start every day reconnecting with my personal values - Respect, Creativity, Engagement, Responsiveness, Joy, Love. This ritual reminds me on a daily basis who I am and who I want to be in the world. I make a conscious and deliberate choice to align my actions with my values, just as I counsel my clients to do in their workplace cultures.
In spite of all evidence to the contrary, I choose to believe that Anne Frank was right. People really are good at heart. I believe that it is our collective responsibility to help each other figure that out.
Please take moment today to check out values.com. I truly hope you will be inspired to think about your values and make a choice to pass them on. We will all be the richer for it.
he Ascent of Women Revisited
March 16, 2011
In early February I wrote a post called the Ascent of Women sparked by a prediction by futurist Richard Worzel that women were going to become more influential over the next ten years. I challenged Mr. Worzel’s prediction, not because I don’t want to believe it, but because of overwhelming evidence that women are not achieving equality or gaining access to power in any real sense of the word.
Today, however, I am feeling slightly more hopeful about Mr. Worzel’s prediction. Last night I watched as newly elected BC Premier Christy Clark’s introduced her new cabinet. Seven of the 18 appointees are women.
Some of those women are occupying positions that have never before been held by a woman, like Shirley Bond, the new solicitor general. A number of those women are also members of visible minorities. Our new Minister of Labour, Citizens’ Services and Open Government is Stephanie Cadieux, former Director of Marketing & Development for the BC Paraplegic Association. Minister Cadieux was named one of Vancouver’s Top 40 Under 40 in 2007, as a result of her work as a strong community advocate for programs to assist people with physical disabilities to achieve their goals and regain independence. When asked to comment on the high number of women in cabinet one of these newly appointed women commented that it was just a reflection of the quality of talent among the female members in the Liberal party.
Premier Clark promises a cabinet focused on families, creating jobs and changing the way British Columbians deal with government. She pledges to create a new era of openness and communication between government officials and the citizens that elect them. "Our government will be open to the people of British Columbia. We will talk about our problems, we will set our priorities openly and we will work with citizens to find solutions," Clark said in an election-worthy speech at Government House as reported by CBC. news. "And we will explain why we make the decisions that we do. You may not always agree with us and all the decisions that we make but to the greatest degree possible, you won't be surprised at the course that we take and you will know for certain why we've chosen it."
Premier Clark seems to be suggesting that she will use her power in a more respectful manner than some of her predecessors. Her cabinet certainly more accurately reflects the reality of diversity in British Columbia. However, as I wrote back in 2007 after Vancouver elected Sam Sullivan, the first quadriplegic to serve as Mayor of a major metropolitan city, diversity is about more than differences in how people look. It is about how those differences influence how we think, how we approach issues, and how that can result in real change.
We reap the true value of diversity when we create environments that allow for, and encourage the expression of differences in perspectives and opinions to produce more innovative and effective decision making. The bottom line here though, is that unless leaders purposefully create a culture that allows for the respectful expression of difference, whether you are a man, woman or a chimpanzee won’t matter.
Premier Clark states that she is going to create such an environment. I am hopeful that she will be true to her word. If she isn’t then the Ascent of Women will be meaningless. It will be like that old fable about the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Let’s just hope that Premier Clark and her female colleagues don’t blow this opportunity to demonstrate that having more women in power really can make a difference: a difference that benefits not just women, but everyone.
A Jump for Women’s Equality
April 6, 2011
Exactly two years ago in April 2009 I wrote a post entitled Gender Equality – Not for Female Ski Jumpers. I was angered by the decision of the IOC not to allow female ski jumpers to compete in the 2010 winter games taking place in Vancouver and Whistler, BC.
Today I am feeling a great deal happier, as are, I am certain, scores of female athletes and in all likelihood even women who are not athletic. The IOC has decided that women have made sufficient progress in the sport to allow for their inclusion in the 2014 games.
The IOC gave a number of reasons for their decision. What I believe was the main factor in this reversal was the outspoken tenacity of the women who took the IOC to court to try and assert their right to compete. They alleged discrimination under Canadian law. While the Courts agreed with them they also found that the IOC as an international body was not subject to the same statutory obligation to ensure freedom from discrimination as are Canadian employers and institutions.
The fact remains, however, that those women spoke up and as a result a lot of people were made aware that they were being excluded from the competition on the basis of gender. Their case made international news on numerous occasions. I choose to believe that this willingness to speak up was what caused the IOC to allow the inclusion of female jumpers in the next Olympics. As ACLU founder Roger Baldwin said “Silence never won rights. They are not handed down from above; they are forced by pressures from below."
The first winter Olympics were held in Chamonix, France in 1924. The only female athletes at those games were figure skaters. Female speed skaters were allowed in in 1956, but it was not until 1998 that women’s hockey became an Olympic event. Bobsled remained exclusively male until 2002.
At the 2014 games in Sochi, Russia close to 50% of the athletes will be female. This phrase from an old cigarette commercial seems especially appropriate today – You’ve come a long way baby.
Here’s hoping that we continue to raise our voices to promote the right to equality of opportunity. Let’s keep the momentum going.
The True “Value” of Values
April 13, 2011
The main theme of my book Road to Respect: Path to Profit is that everyone succeeds when workplace practices are aligned with values, and in particular the ethical value of respect. The reason is simple; values are the glue that unite us in our humanity.
I share a story in the Road to Respect about an experience I had as a participant in a values exercise at a bullying symposium. In this exercise each individual was given a paper that listed 14 ethical values. The facilitator then divided us into groups. Each of us had to choose the five values that were most important to us as individuals. Then we had to tally our individual results and identify the five values that were most important to our group. Finally all of the groups reported back and the facilitators identified the five values that the majority of the groups had identified as most important.
The values that emerged were compassion, fairness, honesty, respect and responsibility. The facilitator then shared some information with us that quite frankly blew me away. Those five ethical values emerge consistently no matter who does that exercise. He produced graphs and charts that included the responses of very diverse groups of people in different parts of the globe. Whatever our gender, age, ethnicity and nationality, it seems we share common ethical values.
Often, however, our differences prevent us from starting the conversation to discover that shared connection. There can be no doubt that it is often difficult to see a reflection of these ethical values in modern society, which seems focused on individuality, greed and competitiveness. Who cares about you as long as I get more? We distract ourselves with the cult of celebrity, the acquisition of stuff, and focus on what we look like, as opposed to why we are here and what we contribute.
Here in Canada we have a business focused television show whose most prominent ad features one of the hosts saying “Greed is good.” I have to tell you that every time I hear line that I get angry. When exactly did greed become a good thing? I am not a religious person but isn’t greed included in the list of seven deadly sins, along with sloth, anger, pride, lust, envy and gluttony?
Somewhere in the last 20 or so years, we shifted to a society where what used to be considered sins have been translated to virtues. It took the financial meltdown and its aftermath to expose what I believe is a values crisis in modern society. The question to be posed now is how we are going to respond?
I saw a sign of hope recently when I discovered values.com. This site is designed to encourage and inspire us to think about, and talk about our values. It states “The Foundation for a Better Life began as a simple idea to promote positive values. We believe that people are basically good and just need a reminder. And that the values we live by are worth more when we pass them on.”
Almost every contemporary workplace has stated organizational values. Respect often features prominently in these elegantly crafted statements. The problem, as I discuss in Road to Respect, is that in most workplaces those values are “paper values.” They are not talked about. There are no strategies, no reminders to ensure that these values are reflected in workplace practices and workplace relationships. As a result no one is actually living them. They have no real “value.”
Disrespect, Power and Politics
April 19, 2011
Up here in the Great White North we are in the midst of an election campaign. Our former minority Conservative government was found to be in contempt of parliament. The other 3 parties alleged that the government refused to share pertinent information necessary to be able to assess legislation before them. The Prime Minister was accused of displaying disrespect for democracy.
Last week, as allegations of dishonesty, abuse of power and RCMP investigations continued to swirl around members of the party, former Conservative Cabinet Minister Helena Guergis announced her intention to run as an independent Conservative in her riding of Simcoe-Grey. Last year, Ms. Guergis was summarily dismissed amid allegations of fraud and extortion. Now that an RCMP investigation has cleared her of all wrongdoing, she accuses Mr. Harper of engaging in the “worst kind of politics.” When asked what she thought Mr. Harper could have done differently, she stated that at the very least she would expect her boss to sit down with her, tell her what she is being accused of and give her a chance to tell her side of the story. She stated that one reason she was speaking up because if this kind of disrespectful and unfair treatment could happen to her, it to could happen to anyone.
When this latest scandal broke Mr. Harper commented by referring to Ms. Guergis as “that individual,” with whom there were allegedly a number of problems. The fact that the allegations appear to have been completely baseless and that Ms. Guergis was not treated fairly was never mentioned.
The whole thing reminds me of what happens when religious institutions excommunicate or shun people. It is like they died and one can’t even mention their name. As Andrew Cohen wrote in The Ottawa Citizen. “When the truth became public under Access to Information… the decent thing for the prime minister to do was apologize. The smart thing, too. First, it would have made Harper look human. Instead, he remains the angry white male running on fear, allegation and anxiety."
Fear, anxiety and power are a notoriously bad combination. While we all know that there are two sides to every story, issue after issue has emerged to confirm that Mr. Harper is an individual that seems to be realizing Machiavelli’s old adage – power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
I have to say that since this all started I have been watching the whole thing in somewhat of a state of shock. First off, after the election was called, I heard citizen after citizen interviewed saying what a waste of time this whole thing was.
Excuse me? This government has been found in contempt of parliament, something that has never happened in the history of Canada. I am not saying that this is the first government in history to lie and cheat, to abuse the public trust, but the number and breadth of the ongoing allegations against this government are simply too numerous to ignore. This is blatant disrespect and abuse of power.
Disrespect and abuse of power? Ho Hum, who cares. We have come to a point where this is the status quo, both in our government and in our workplaces. As a result nobody seems the least bit concerned.
We are fortunate in this country to have a parliamentary democracy. We actually have the right to vote, something countless individuals in our world community are currently dying to achieve. The fact that so many of us could not care less, and think this is all a waste of time is beyond depressing.
I guess the reason for all of this must be what Mr. Harper keeps telling us. Regardless of what the issue is, or what question he is asked the response inevitably focuses on the economy.
Canada’s economy is doing great. We have done so well during this global recession. The economic numbers look good. We are going to have economic growth. What really could be more important than that?
From where I sit just about everything. I share Dr. David Suzuki’s perspective. “When we measure everything in economic value those things that matter most to us are worthless.” All of this talk about the economy is intended to do exactly what it is doing – distract us from focusing on what really matters.
The Canadian constitution is founded on the values of tolerance, fairness, justice and mutual respect. We are supposed to be seeing those values reflected in our lives, in our workplaces, and in society at large. It is critically important that we see them reflected in our government and even more important that we speak up and take action when we don’t.
In point of fact is it each of us, individual Canadian citizens, who hold the balance of power. It is our tax dollars that pay for and support the government. It is our voice that empowers them.
We are all reading about the importance of standing up and saying no to bullying. In case you are unsure as to why that is important, let me remind you. Bullying is a disrespectful, power based behaviour intended to harm. It destroys people, teams, workplaces and communities.
When those that we elect to govern us abuse their power and act disrespectfully toward us, we have a choice. We can speak up, we can harness the power of the democratic process to create change, or we can put up and accept the abuse. I have seen this in countless workplaces. When we fail to speak up, disrespect and abuse becomes the status quo. It becomes a cultural norm.
Is that the kind of Canada you aspire to live in?
Apathy is Boring
April 26, 2011
Ok I get it. Most of my fellow Canadians are focused on the Stanley Cup playoffs and setting their PVR to record the upcoming Royal Wedding. Another Federal election? Ho hum. Who cares. Many of us traditionally don’t even bother to vote, particularly those that fall into the Gen Y demographic. Last time around less than 25% of those in the youth cast their ballots.
That depressing fact might change this time around, thanks to organizations like Apathy is Boring, a national non-partisan project whose mission is to use art and technology to educate youth about democracy. Their stated aims are to: increase youth voting rates,
increase youth engagement in their communities, and build a sustainable dialogue between youth and elected officials
While there is a lot of stuff about this election that is discouraging and depressing, Apathy is Boring is a sign of hope, as well as a testament to the creativity and energy of the human spirit. It is also a stellar example of translating the value of respect to empower and engage those that appear to be disinterested.
The old paradigm translates as follows. Last time around youth didn’t vote. The assumption is that they didn’t vote because they don’t care. They don’t care because, well actually we have no idea why they don’t care because we don’t bother to ask. Rather than ask, we do what we typically do in any type of problem or conflict – we assume. We assume they don’t care because they are indulged, or spoiled or high or lazy or whatever we can easily assume about those we know nothing about.
Once we have concluded they don’t care, and given the cogent evidence that they didn’t vote last time, it is safe to assume they still don’t care, which means they won’t vote this time so let’s just forget all about them.
Apathy is Boring is employing a different, and a fundamentally respect paradigm to approach this problem. This paradigm is about shifting from assumption to curiosity, something I advise my audiences to do in every presentation I give. This approach is about reaching out, starting a conversation to engage those that may appear to be disengaged. It is about using strategies that will encourage those we want to engage with to engage with us.
How does one reach youth? By going where they go, doing what they do Through music, art and social media. A respectful approach is always about working to strategically create connection in a manner that is meaningful to those we want to connect with. This Youtube video about voting for the first time, After you Do It You’re Never the Same, is a great example of why Apathy is Boring is now a leading voice in reaching out to Canadian youth.
This election was called because the ruling party was found in contempt of parliament. It is alleged they demonstrated disrespect for democracy, something they would like us to believe is untrue. They continue to feed us the status quo and are counting on the apathy that their disrespectful practices have created to maintain their position of power.
How about we all take our cue from Apathy is Boring to make sure that does not happen.
We’re On the Road to Nowhere
May 25, 2011
I was talking to a client recently about a local HR conference she had attended. When I asked her for her thoughts she said that the main theme that emerged for her was a variation of how we are all going to have to work harder, smarter, better and faster if we want to be successful.
Now I don’t know about you, but if I have to work any harder, smarter, better or particularly faster, I’ll need to break into light speed. The pace of change we are all dealing with is staggering. Everyone I know already has too much on their plate and yet, because the bar keeps getting raised higher and higher, most of them are also feeling like they don’t measure up.
As far as I am concerned the propagation of this competitive, status quo mind set is placing us directly, as the Talking Heads wrote so years ago, on the Road to Nowhere. And on that Road, values like respect, compassion, fairness, connection, and authenticity are nowhere to be found.
Dr. David Rock, who studies the neuroscience of leadership, has found that as leaders progress up the organizational power hierarchy, their capacity for both self-awareness and awareness of others diminishes. This, as Dr. Rock points out, is quite problematic given that what is required for effective leadership is an increase in behavioural awareness. The reason for this phenomenon, which he has documented in his research, has to do with the fact that leaders today have too much to do, are inundated with too much information and are under too much pressure
It seems that from a brain functioning capacity, we humans have not evolved all that much over the last several thousand years. Like our ancestors, when we perceive a threat, whether it be a sabre toothed tiger or a corporate take-over, our fear meters starts soaring and we have a flight or fight response. That fear causes us to operate from the emotional or limbic part of our brain. The rational, and much smaller part of our brain that allows us to make sound, reasonable decisions, basically turns off.
What is needed to ensure that leaders and those they lead make insightful, thoughtful decisions is a quiet and happy mind. People are at their most creative, their most productive when they are relaxed and having fun. This is why, Dr. Rock shared with us, brainstorming doesn’t work. We feel stressed and pressured to come up with creative ideas, which starts the fear motor going and actually limits our ability access the incredible power of innovative knowledge most of are capable of.
Bigger, smarter, better, faster does not make for quiet happy minds. It makes for stressed out minds within stressed out people. In my line of work that translates to increases in disrespectful power based behaviours like bullying and harassment, which create toxic environments where no one is happy. Make no mistake. Individuals that bully and harass are generally not happy people. Rather they tend to be deeply unhappy, angry, insecure and fearful.
I really don’t care if “those in the know” tell us we have to work bigger, smarter, bigger and faster to be successful. I happen to think they are wrong. I have no interest in travelling on the Road to Nowhere. I am much more interested in continuing my journey on the Road to Respect.
What about you?
May 27, 2011
I was reading a blog post yesterday called Why You Shouldn’t Report Sexual Harassment that got my blood boiling.
The author of this post, Penelope Trunk understands the prevalence of sexual harassment in today’s workplaces. She has lived it, and her experience has caused her to conclude that the best thing to do if you want climb the corporate ladder is to put up and shut up. Recognize that it is a fact of working life, the status quo and get used to it. She writes “Once you become aware of the widespread tolerance for harassment throughout the world, it becomes clear that you will have to put up with it as a form of cultural diversity. If you want to be good at working with a wide range of people, you need to be good at brushing off harassment."
While both the US and Canada, and most other countries, share similar definitions of sexual harassment, the legal processes vary greatly. Canadian law recognizes the concept of a poisoned environment, as a result of a famous sexual harassment case Bell and Korczak v Ladas and the Flaming Steer Steak House (1980) 1 CHRR d/155 (Ont.Bd). In the words of the Arbitrator Owen Shime “There is no reason why the law, which reaches into the workplace so as to protect the work environment from physical or chemical pollution or extremes of temperature, ought not to protect employees as well from negative, psychological and mental effects where adverse and gender directed conduct emanating from a management hierarchy may reasonably be construed to be a condition of employment.
To put is as simply as such legal matters can be put, an employee’s work environment is considered a condition of employment. Canadian Human rights laws prohibit discrimination on any condition of employment. Therefore, if comments or actions which can be defined as discrimination ( sexual harassment has been recognized in law as gender discrimination) occur at work and cause an individual’s work environment to become uncomfortable, offensive or humiliating, that person can file a human rights complaint on the basis having to work in a toxic or poisoned work environment.
Now as Ms. Trunk accurately points out, filing a complaint is often the first step to unemployment, which is why many women don’t do so, and why Ms. Trunk supports that choice. Rather, she suggests in another of her posts, the answer is for women to accept the abuse until they themselves attain a position of power, understand how the old boy’s club works and then can use their power to initiate change.
All this sounds good in theory. But here’s the thing. Bell and Korczak was decided in 1980. That is more than 30 years ago. Yet here we are today, and accomplished, intelligent women are concluding that the best thing to do is just accept the status quo, accept that disrespect is a fact of life and learn to deal with it. That is the part of this whole thing that has my blood boiling.
My experience dealing with individuals on the receiving end of disrespect is that most of them are not able to deal with it as effectively as Ms. Trunk. Many of them are destroyed by it. Many of them suffer huge losses of self-esteem. Many of them become extremely angry, and that anger often become toxic, perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Most women in positions of power are not using their power to change the system to make it better for other women. Women in positions of power overwhelmingly bully other women. The abused become the abusers.
The other troubling part of Ms. Trunks’ solution, as I have written in numerous previous posts, is that women are not making any headway in gaining positions of power in the corporate world. In fact the numbers are trending backwards. Even if all the women in power were able to use their power to create change within the system as Ms. Trunk suggests, there aren’t enough up there to reach that critical tipping point.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t have another 30 years to wait. I refuse to counsel my daughter to accept sexual harassment as a condition of employment. Yes, she has to be able to recognize it and understand that in all likelihood she will experience it, but I want her to know that she does not have to accept it. She has to speak out and stand up to end it.
There is only one way to make sure that sex harassment no longer is a condition of employment. Women comprise more than 50% of the population. We have to use our collective power to speak up and say no. It is our collective responsibility to do so. Just imagine what would happen if every woman that was harassed spoke up, if every woman filed a complaint. Eventually everything would grind to a halt.
We have only to look at the example of the Arab spring to appreciate how collective power can create change. As anthropologist Margaret Mead said “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Reading Ms. Trunk’s posts confirmed for me what I already know – the world desperately needs changing.
I am sick of the status quo. I am sick of disrespectful power based behaviours. I am sick of dealing with the effects of those behaviours. I want change, real systemic change. I want a world where ethical values rule. I want people to be treated respectfully at work. I want those in position of power to use their power for the collective good. I will continue to do everything within my power to make that happen.
What about you?
Women, Respect and Power
June 3, 2011
I have spent the last couple of days preparing for my presentation at Wealth Academy for women, taking place tomorrow (June 4th) here in Vancouver BC.
I close the day-long event, intended to educate and empower to gain control of their finances, with my presentation entitled Step Into Your Power and Make it Happen. I will be focusing on some of the factors that prevent women from challenging the status quo and taking a larger piece of the economic power pie.
I was researching quotes on women and power. Here is the first one that came up, author unknown.
“Powerful women are either sexually voracious rules like Catherine the Great of Elizabeth 1, or treacherous bitches like Cleopatra or Helen of Troy.”
Really ladies, doesn’t that just make you want to get out there and manifest your power?
And then there is this one, a common saying in Burma.
“Respect son as master and husband as God.”
Hmm, so I guess that means women should respect self as servant. Not exactly at the top of the positional or economic power heap.
Is it any wonder we are 35 years into the battle for gender inequality and aren’t even close to getting there?
The Road Less Travelled
June 7, 2011
I was talking to a client recently about a local HR conference she had attended. When I asked her for her thoughts she said that the main theme that emerged for her was a variation of how we are all going to have to work harder, smarter, better and faster if we want to be successful.
Now I don’t know about you, but if I have to work any harder, smarter, better or particularly faster, I’ll need to break into light speed. The pace of change we are all dealing with is staggering. Everyone I know already has too much on their plate and yet, because the bar keeps getting raised higher and higher, most of them are also feeling like they don’t measure up.
As far as I am concerned the propagation of this competitive, status quo mind set is placing us directly, as the Talking Heads wrote so years ago, on the Road to Nowhere. And on that Road, values like respect, compassion, fairness, connection, and authenticity are nowhere to be found.
Dr. David Rock, who studies the neuroscience of leadership, has found that as leaders progress up the organizational power hierarchy, their capacity for both self-awareness and awareness of others diminishes. This, as Dr. Rock points out, is quite problematic given that what is required for effective leadership is an increase in behavioural awareness. The reason for this phenomenon, which he has documented in his research, has to do with the fact that leaders today have too much to do, are inundated with too much information and are under too much pressure
It seems that from a brain functioning capacity, we humans have not evolved all that much over the last several thousand years. Like our ancestors, when we perceive a threat, whether it be a sabre toothed tiger or a corporate take-over, our fear meters starts soaring and we have a flight or fight response. That fear causes us to operate from the emotional or limbic part of our brain. The rational, and much smaller part of our brain that allows us to make sound, reasonable decisions, basically turns off.
What is needed to ensure that leaders and those they lead make insightful, thoughtful decisions is a quiet and happy mind. People are at their most creative, their most productive when they are relaxed and having fun. This is why, Dr. Rock shared with us, brainstorming doesn’t work. We feel stressed and pressured to come up with creative ideas, which starts the fear motor going and actually limits our ability access the incredible power of innovative knowledge most of are capable of.
Bigger, smarter, better, faster does not make for quiet happy minds. It makes for stressed out minds within stressed out people. In my line of work that translates to increases in disrespectful power based behaviours like bullying and harassment, which create toxic environments where no one is happy. Make no mistake. Individuals that bully and harass are generally not happy people. Rather they tend to be deeply unhappy, angry, insecure and fearful.
I really don’t care if “those in the know” tell us we have to work bigger, smarter, bigger and faster to be successful. I happen to think they are wrong. I have no interest in travelling on the Road to Nowhere. I am much more interested in continuing my journey on the Road to Respect.
What about you?
Tom’s Shoes – Literally Putting the Shoe on the Other Foot
June 9, 2011
A couple of weeks ago as my daughter and I were walking back to our car after a lovely dinner at Shota, one of our favourite Japanese restaurants, she asked me if we could go by the mall as she wanted some shoes.
A little background here. My daughter is almost 15 and like her most of her peers, very interested in style and fashion. Going to the mall is considered a fun activity.
My perspective is that shopping is about necessity. It is not an activity. I buy shoes when I need shoes. My daughter, on the other hand, shares the perspective expressed by a friend of mine some years ago who asked me to go shopping. I responded – I don’t need anything, to which my friend said “need has nothing to do with it.”
I was able to avoid the mall by citing my need to get back to my office. “Ok”, she said, “but these are really cool shoes. I will show you when we get home.” True to her promise, shortly after we got home she called me upstairs to show me the entire line of Toms Shoes.
I was quite surprised. They are plain, basic canvas shoes. “What’s cool about them” my daughter advised me “ is that for every pair you buy they give a pair to a kid who needs some.”
Together we read about Toms Movement, started by founder Blake Mycoskie after a visit to Argentina in 2006. Upon discovering that many children there had no shoes, and learning that this greatly contributed to childhood diseases, he pledged to do something about it. He founded Toms, and a year later returned to Argentina with 10,000 pairs of new shoes to distribute.
Now that is cool. Really cool.
I told my daughter I would happily buy her a pair and that I would buy some too. I may not need them, but in this case, that is not relevant. This is not about my needs. It is about the needs of others and how I can help.
Thinking of buying some new shoes this summer? Why not check out Toms and join the movement.
Oops I did It Again
July 28, 2011
Last month I had the opportunity to present a workshop on Horizontal Violence, aka workplace bullying, at the Canadian Federation of Nurses Unions Bi-Annual Convention in Winnipeg.
When you think about nurses and gender, it’s a bit of a no-brainer as to which gender dominates that profession. No doubt gender is a huge factor in the unfortunate prevalence of Horizontal Violence within nursing.
As I was researching in preparation for the conference I came across a few articles, and a great You Tube video highlighting the challenges that are faced by male nurses within the profession. Many of us are familiar with gender discrimination experienced by women in traditionally male dominated environments. There is much less focus or awareness of discrimination that men may experience when they enter a field traditionally dominated by women, possibly because men are less interested in working in the traditionally lower paid occupations in which women are the majority and so it is much less of an issue from a societal perspective.
That said, however, I was most certainly aware of the issue upon my arrival in Winnipeg. I did see a sprinkling of men among the hundreds of women that attended the conference, and I even had a couple attend my workshops. In my introductory remarks on the first day I jokingly acknowledged their presence, welcoming our few “token males.”
Upon reviewing the evaluation forms at the end of the day, I learned later that day that one of those “token males” greatly resented my use of that term. It was that kind of thinking, and the use of that term that was perpetuating gender stereotyping within the profession, something, he wrote, that experienced on a daily basis.
Oops, I did it again. I inadvertently said something that an audience member found offensive.
Believe me, this is not something I am trying to do. On the contrary, my intention is to lead by example, to model respect in everything I do and say. I did not in any way mean to cause offense or distress, but unfortunately that was the outcome.
For me this illustrates why the element of intention does not enter into our human rights framework. In proving discrimination we do not look at intent, we look at outcome. The reality is that discriminatory practices, discriminatory language, jokes are often ingrained into our cultures. In many cases, we are just being who we are, acting how we act, and in doing so have the unexpected effect of discriminating, or offending someone.
After reading the evaluation form, I wanted to find this fellow: to acknowledge his comments, to apologize to him and thank him for having the courage to let me know. I routinely tell my audiences that “feedback,” our choice to share our observations with another, is a gift. When someone else shares with us observations about our behaviour, they provide us with knowledge and opportunity – the opportunity to modify our behaviour, to make a different choice.
Unfortunately, I was not able to find him that evening during the networking event. So instead I chose to share my experience with my audience in my opening remarks the next day, something I routinely do when such opportunities present themselves.
Some might say, why expose your flaws to hundreds of people. I mean, you are supposed to be the “Respect Expert.” Doesn’t this damage your credibility?
I would argue that it does not. Rather, I believe that when I share such an experience with my audience such an experience, I become that much more relatable to them. When I let them know that I can inadvertently offend someone, it “normalizes” this experience for them. In spite of our best intentions, sh _t happens. What is important is what we choose to do when we realize that it has.
When I think about demonstrating respect to others I think about being curious, being open, being compassionate, being responsible and being responsive.
I am grateful to this man for his comments. That was not the first time I jokingly referred to a man in a room full of women, or vice versa, as the “token” male or female, but I can tell you with absolute certainly it will be the last time.
Ding Dong the Tax is Dead – And Somewhere Jack Layton is celebrating!
August 26, 2011
The untimely death of Jack Layton has sparked an outpouring of emotion from Canadians from coast to coast. Candlelight vigils were held in all major Canadian cities on Monday night, and a Facebook page sprang up asking friends to turn the porch light on for Jack at 9 pm and leave them on all night. Of course, given Mr. Layton’s passionate commitment to the environment, the page was clear that unless you are using a CFC DO NOT leave your light on, as that would be disrespectful to Mr. Layton’s memory.
Upon learning about his death I found myself overwhelmed by sadness. I feel as though a flame of hope has been extinguished. And I know, not because I knew Mr. Latyon personally, but of who he was and how he lived his life, exemplified by the incredibly personal and inspiration letter he penned to Canadian on his deathbed that this is exactly the opposite of what he would have wanted.
He wanted all of us to adopt his enthusiastic, positive outlook on the possibility of change. He ended his letter with the following words which have been posted and tweeted around the world.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
I do so want to be loving, hopeful and optimistic. I have dedicated my life to promoting respect and dignity. I cling to the vision of respectful workplaces where people will be treated fairly and decently. I write and speak about companies that focus on the triple bottom line – people, profit, planet.
But, as Charles Gooding Jr’s character said in the movie Jerry McGuire “I have been to the puppet show. I’ve seen the strings.” Some days it is very difficult to believe that being loving, hopeful and optimistic will be of any assistance in facing the enormous power and greed of the corporate giants that now effectively rule the world.
Today however, is not one of those days. Today is a good day for democracy and for those that believe that the collective power of the people can sometimes triumph. Today we learned that the people of BC voted to repeal the HST (Harmonized Sales Tax), a tax which was literally forced on the people of BC after former Liberal Premier Gordon Campbell did an about face on his campaign promise not to introduce the tax here if he was re-elected.
The supporters of the HST claimed that the tax was good for business and the business climate in BC. Traditional economic policies argue that what is good for business is good for everyone. When business succeeds, everyone benefits.
Now if businesses were regulated and taxed appropriately, that might be the case. But as we can so clearly see by what is happening south of the 49th parallel, these days what is good for business is really only good for those few at the top. Senior executive salaries have increased by triple digit percentiles. Their bonuses are getting larger and larger. They own multiple houses, cars, yachts and private jets. Their businesses pay an ever decreasing percentage of their increased profits in taxes, in many cases no tax at all. Their personal tax rates have also been steadily declining.
And before we Canadians get too smug about that fact that that is not happening here, we should all wake up and smell the coffee. It is happening here. The gap between rich and poor is widening. Since 2007 only the rich have been getting richer. The rest of us are getting the shaft.
When the HST came in, ordinary citizens had to pay more for a whole host of items that had previously been exempted from provincial sales tax, items that most of us use: restaurant meals, personal recreation activities including children’s activities and summer camps, health services like chiropractic and massage, as well as many grocery items that were considered non-essential. The tax made living a whole lot more expensive for people who were barely scraping by. Is it any wonder that personal debt in Canada is climbing at such an alarming rate, and is currently the highest it has ever been, building ever increasing profits for the bloated and profitable financial sector.
I have no problem paying more taxes. In a social democracy it is taxes that pay for our services. But I want a fair and proportional tax system, not one like the HST which transferred $2 billion in tax liability from big business to private citizens. I will be happy to pay higher taxes if that would translate to a decrease in child poverty here in BC, which coincidentally has been rising while tax rates have been falling. We may have the lowest tax rates in the country, but we also have seen drastic cuts to services like education, legal aid, social assistance, and programs that support the most marginalized and powerless in our society.
Jack Layton’s vision was a prosperous Canada where everyone, and not just a select few, would share in the incredible wealth and bounty of this land. He was a leader who walked the talk when it came to supporting ordinary Canadians and their families.
The demise of the HST is a victory for all of us who believe, as Jack did, that when we come together united in hope, optimism and love, when we use our collective power and exercise our democratic rights, we can change the world.
This one’s for you Jack! May your spirit live on and continue to inspire us.
Discover the Power of Intention
September 12, 2011
I often talk to my audiences about the fact that intention is the hidden element of communication. One of the things that allows us to communicate respectfully and effectively is to clarify our intention and express it when we speak. When we are interested in resolving a problem or a conflict, it is really helpful to start with a positive statement about our intention, e.g. my interest in talking to you about this is because you really matter to me, or I am raising this because I really value our relationship.
I read an article recently in Speaker magazine featuring Dr. Donese Worden, NMD. The focus of the article was to provide tips for speakers to help calm the body and find inner peace.
Much of what Dr. Worden advocated are things I already do; yoga, meditation, exercise, eat well . The big take away for me was her suggestion that we “declare our intention.” She recommended that we start our day by reflecting on our intention for that day: “Not the list of things you want to do today, but what you want to be today.”
Now the timing on this is great as I am in the process of evaluating how I am running both my business and my life. I start my day with yoga, and a walk. When I get into my office I take a minute to reconnect to my values and vision board above my desk. I thought that connecting to values and vision would set my intention for the day. After reading the article, however , I started to question that because the next thing I generally do is either start on my to do list, or compile one. My measure of success at the end of the day generally corresponds to how many things get crossed off the list.
Now that certainly can be one measure of success, however, at this point in my life, I know that I can get stuff done. I am more concerned with the attitude and the energy I bring to the task. I want to enjoy both my work and my life, and sometimes just looking at the list can start that feeling of overwhelm I so often get that generally results in lack of motivation rather than inspiration.
I decided I would incorporate Dr. Worden’s suggestion into my daily routine. Problem was I was not sure how to state my intention and put it out into the universe so I asked for help from individuals in my life that understand these issues better than I do.
Here is what I learned. The most important thing is to state whatever your intention is in the present tense. Rather than I am going to be… or I want to be… or my intention is to be…, all of which are future focused, use I am…. I am focused. I am respectful. I am mindful. I am creative. I am generous. I am professional. I am efficient. I am energized. It is about deciding what you want to be and then speaking as if it already is.
The other important piece is not to be too attached to it. Think about it, state your intention, and then just let it go. According to Dr. Wayne Dyer and others in the field, intention is an energy that we are a part of and not something that we do. It is about tapping into that unseen energy, resources that are available to us if we only know how to access them.
So how do we measure success if we don’t have the ability to cross stuff of the list? Here’s what I think. We can spend a couple of non-judgemental minutes at the end of our day being curious, reviewing the events of the day, and assessing whether or we realized our intention. The key here, of course, is the non-judgemental part. None of us need another reason to beat up on ourselves. It is about dispassionate evaluation.
Last week a close and trusted friend and colleague shared an observation with me that I was “spinning.” What she said really resonated with me. In our fast paced, multi-tasking reality, many of us are starting to act like we have ADD. The growing numbers of us with insomnia attest to this phenomenon.
To support myself to shift, I started my day today with an intention to be mindful. Whatever I am doing, I want to be fully engaged. I resisted the urge to pull out my blackberry while I was driving. I checked email when I got in to work and then closed the program. I cleared anything distracting or extraneous off my desk. I am reminding myself from time to time about my intention by saying I am mindful, and then letting it go to focus on whatever I am doing. If I notice my mind starting to spin, I am compassionately reminding myself to be mindful.
My belief is that this will work just as it does with communication – being clear and stating my intention will impact the outcome I get. Sure I want to get through everything on my to do list, however, I also want to be energized, not depleted at the end of the day.
How do you generally feel at the end of the day? How would you like to feel? It is not beyond our control to influence this outcome. Why not access the power of intention to support your success in work and life?
Finding Passion and Purpose
September 19, 2011
This weekend I attended at a weekend house warming party. I spent some time talking with a colleague of my host, who told me that while he liked his job, it wasn’t something he was passionate about. He confessed that he didn’t feel he had found his passion in life.
Finding my passion has never been a problem for me. I am passionate about many things and have, for the most part, almost always worked at things I feel passionate about, rather than those that would be “practical” in the traditional sense of the word.
After leaving the party, I headed out for a bike ride and started to think about the conversation. What is it that allows us to connect with our passion? What is it that prevents that from happening?
My personal belief is that each of us has a distinct purpose. Our real “job” in life is to find out what that is. When we are living our purpose, we cannot help but be passionate about it.
So how do we discover our passion? I believe it happens when we are truly connected with our spiritual energy, our “gut instinct,” if you will. In my experience, many of us are disconnected from that part of ourselves. We live in our heads, allowing ego, logic, and our internal voices to guide us. One of the big problems is that those voices often reflect the beliefs and values of those who have had the most influence on us, those that may have Imposed their power on us, when we were unaware, or unable to protect ourselves.
Fear is another factor that prevents us from discovering our purpose or living our passion. Fear keeps us trapped, and we are often not even aware of how much fear is actually shaping our lives. It shows up as the “yes but”, the rational, practical reason why we can’t do this or that, even when we think we might like to do it.
The other factor that I believe is a huge issue these days is the amount of busyness and distraction we are all faced with. Finding one’s purpose and one’s passion requires reflection. It requires quiet time, meditative time. Time to just be. Time to allow curiosity to bubble and bloom.
I do a number of activities to support myself to stay connected with my spiritual energy. I find cycling incredibly regenerative, restorative and relaxing. If I have an issue or problem that needs resolving, hopping on my bike is a great way to support myself to find the answers, or even to formulate the questions I need to ask myself.
I also practice yoga and meditation. If you have ever done either, you will be familiar with the word ” Namaste,” traditionally used to close a practice. While I have said that phrase for years, I only recently discovered that it means “I salute the divine within you.”
Acknowledging and embracing the divine within us is the first and most critical step in connecting to our purpose and finding our passion. It is that connection that allows us, I believe, to find the elusive “inner peace” many of us are seeking.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
When we fail to discover what that might be, we do a disservice not only to ourselves, but to others who would undoubtedly benefit from our unique gifts, our purpose. We owe it to ourselves, our true selves, to figure it out.
Have you taken the time to discover what lies within you? What are you waiting for?
Jamey Rodemeyer – Gay, Bullied and Dead at 14
September 26, 2011
We have all heard the expression “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
The tragic death of Jamey Rodemeyer proves just how fallacious that expression is in the harsh reality of social media and cyber bullying.
Jamey, like so many gay teens, had been bullied at school. He asked for help to deal with his experiences in his on line posts. On September 9, Jamey wrote: 'I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?'
Here is a sample of what his cry for help generated. Instead of help, he got more insults, hurt and humiliation.
'JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!'
'I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it. It would make everyone WAY more happier!' (this post confirms that it is bullying rather than education that is flourishing in many public schools)
We over here in the “civilized” world look at practices like stoning and condemn these “others” who support such barbaric practices. And yet we allow anonymous posts on social media sites which produce the exact same outcome: death for the victims of abuse.
Jamey’s died because he was gay. Had he lived in Europe in the late 1930s or 40s that would have been a reason to send him to the gas chambers. Gays, like Jews, or Gypsies were targeted, rounded up and exterminated. Because of who they were they were deemed undeserving of life.
Sixty years may have passed, along with countless pieces of carefully worded human and civil rights legislation, but it appears that very little has changed other than the manner in which these victims are being lead to their deaths.
Only this time we really can’t say we didn’t know. We know. The problem is that most of us are choosing to either look the other way or convince ourselves that there is nothing we can do.
The outcome of that kind of thinking is that Jamey will simply become a statistic. Another victim of a hate crime that could be eradicated if only enough of us chose to believe that there is something we can do.
So, what do you believe?
Start A Revolution –50 years later “We the People Have Found Our Voice”
October 11, 2011
When I was a kid I really regretted the fact that I was born too late to be a hippie. I wanted to be part of the peace and love generation, a generation for whom protests and protest songs were the order of the day. Jefferson Airplane’s Start a Revolution was like the national anthem.
I have been watching the growing movement south of the border with both interest and hope. I had just about come to the conclusion that most American’s had become anesthetised by consumerism, distracted by stuff that no one needs rather than standing up for the stuff that really matters. After the elections last year, and the Republican sweep of the house, along with support for more tax breaks for the rich as well as the fight against Obamacare, I thought all was lost.
But you know that old expression, it is always darkest before the dawn. It appears that the 99% have finally woken up. The protests that started on Wall St have spread to over 250 US cities, and are expected to hit major Canadian cities this weekend.
One of the main differences in this revolution from the one that occurred in the sixties was that at that time it was about the youth. This time around we have protesters who were singing Start a Revolution when it came out marching with today’s youth.
Power of association has always been a crucial source of power. As the numbers grow, so does the power of the message as well as the possibility for real change. As I heard one Wall St protester say, what can Mayor Bloomberg really do? If force is used to quell the protests, how then is he really any different that leaders in Syria or Libya? (Too bad the G20 took place before the Arab spring or we could have been making similar arguments about those in power above the 49th parallel)
The power of the people is supposed to be what distinguishes democracy from other social orders. In a democracy people are supposed to be able to speak up. Governments job is to make sure that the playing field is somewhat equalized, creating conditions for the “right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
Filmmaker Michael Moore predicted that the people would rise up at the end of his film “Capitalism - A Love Story.” When I watched the film, I desperately wanted to believe that might be true.
Judging from what we are seeing now, it appears that it just might be.
Speak Up, Speak Out
October 13, 2011
One of my most popular presentations is entitled Speak Up Speak Out: Personal Power and Respect at Work. As the title suggests, the goal of the workshop is to inspire, empower and educate people to speak up when they have issues or conflicts at work, particularly when faced with power based behaviours like harassment and bullying.
I developed this session as a direct response to what I experience repeatedly in my work as a Respectful Workplace Solutions Expert. The most common response that people have when on the receiving end of disrespectful behaviour is to put up with it, to say nothing and hope that it will go away. Problem is it rarely does. While creating a respectful workplace is the ultimate fix for such issues, many of us don’t have the luxury of waiting. I want to ensure people know that they can make a different choice, one that will facilitate ending rather than prolonging the problems they may be facing at work.
I had a great example yesterday of how prevalent this behaviour is. I started taking yoga a few weeks ago. While I have been doing yoga on my own for years, I had never taken classes until spending some time at Hollyhock on Cortes Island in July. I realized how much I enjoyed being in class, and given that one of my priorities this year is to bring more joy and fun into my life, I signed up for classes as soon as I got back to town.
Last week our instructor was playing Nirvana at the start of the class. I found the music much too stimulating and agitating. As I sat with eyes closed, trying to get centered and focused, I decided to speak up rather than have to fight to control my response to the music. Our instructor respectfully changed the music and I had a great class.
Yesterday when I arrived at class one of the other participants said “I really wanted to thank you for saying something about the music last week. I was feeling the same way, but I didn’t want to say anything.” Immediately another class member chimed in. “Yes, I felt the same way too and was really glad you spoke up.”
One of the issues I focus on in Speak Up Speak Out is how power affects relationship. As I unrolled my mat I thought about how curious it is that even when we are paying for a class, which theoretically gives us economic power, we are reluctant to challenge the positional power of the instructor. We give away our power and wait for someone else, the proverbial hero, to ride in, rescue us and save the day.
As pleased as I was to hear that my actions were appreciated by my class mates, I have no interest in being anyone’s hero. I am much more interested in empowering others to become the hero of their own story. One way I can do that is to walk my talk, and lead by example. I had not thought about that when I spoke up last week, but it became very clear after my experience yesterday.
I am just about to get ready for an afternoon presentation of Speak Up. I feel more motivated than ever to deliver my message of respect and empowerment.
Welcome to the Participation Age (or Participation, Power and Respect)
October 12, 2011
One of my most popular presentations is entitled Speak Up Speak Out: Personal Power and Respect at Work. As the title suggests, the goal of the workshop is to inspire, empower and educate people to speak up when they have concerns and conflicts at work, particularly when faced with power based behaviors like harassment and bullying.
I developed this session as a direct response to what I experience repeatedly in my work as a Respectful Workplace Solutions Expert. The most common response that people have when on the receiving end of disrespectful behaviour is to put up with it, to say nothing and hope that it will go away. Problem is it rarely does. While creating a respectful workplace is the ultimate fix for such issues, many of us don’t have the luxury of waiting. I want to ensure people know that they can make a different choice, a choice to speak up respectfully about the problems they may be facing.
I often end those presentations with this quote from anthropologist Margaret Mead “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has.”
Recently a small group of American citizens made a choice to speak up. They are speaking up about the very issues I focus on in my work: equality, respect and power. Three weeks later the Wall St. protest movement has spread within the US and now beyond its borders. Protests are planned for major Canadian as well as European cities.
I just watched an interview with a high profile conservative businessman and Canadian media personality, known for saying things like greed is good and the only thing better than money is more money. Not surprisingly he dismisses what is going on in New York as the ravings of a few disgruntled people who see an opportunity to get themselves on YouTube. He does not believe that these protests will change anything, mainly because his perspective is that nothing needs to be changed.
As I listened I couldn’t help thinking about Marie Antoinette and another infamous quote “Let them eat cake.”
Personally I think that anyone currently in a position of power should be sitting up and taking notice. I share the perspective of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who contends that we are poised for another momentous shift in our collective economic history. In her opening remarks at the first ever Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) High-Level Policy Dialogue on Women and the Economy held on September 16 in San Francisco she said “I believe that here, at the beginning of the 21st century, we are entering the Participation Age, where every individual, regardless of gender or other characteristics, is poised to be a contributing and valued member of the global marketplace.” 1
The Participation Age which Ms. Clinton envisages will be one which will require a shift in the distribution of power. To create a truly participatory society, or a truly participatory workplace, it is necessary to share power, to share wealth and opportunity, rather than hoard it. A participatory workplace is an empowered workplace. And an empowered workplace must, by definition, be a respectful one, where speaking up respectfully becomes the norm, rather than the exception.
Don’t wait until people start protesting in your workplace. The writing is on the wall. The Participation Age is upon us. Chances are the employees in your workplace are looking for ways to contribute and are eager to speak up. Creating the opportunity for them to do so demonstrates respect. All you have to do is use your power to get the conversation started.
1 Women Are Vital in the Participation Age, Posted: 9/16/11 01:05 PM ET, Huffington Post, Canada,
Occupy Wall St - Greed or Compassion
October 24, 2011
Two weeks have passed since I last blogged about Wall St protests. I am happy to report that in the last two weeks the movement has grown in strength. More people are participating and more people are talking about it.
Yesterday respected scientist and environmentalist David Suzuki addressed the protesters who have been camped outside the Vancouver Art Gallery for over a week now. His message focused on corporate greed, the influence of corporations on public policy as well as the impunity with which corporate criminals operated. “Terrible things have been done in the name of greed” Dr. Suzuki stated.
Last March I wrote a post about Values.com, a site designed to encourage and inspire us to think about, and talk about our values. In that post I cited a well-known Canadian media personality whose mantra is “Greed is good.” The question I posed in that post was "When exactly did greed become a good thing? I am not a religious person but isn’t greed included in the list of seven deadly sins, along with sloth, anger, pride lust, envy and gluttony?"
While I would argue that there are very few things in life that can be categorized as either good or bad, greed is one of them. The bottom line here is that greed is not good. Greed is bad. Make no mistake about it. Corporate greed is bad. It threatens to destroy our social fabric and our planet. This is what the Wall St protests are really about.
Now there are those that argue that the protesters are just a bunch of whiners that are just as greedy as those on Wall St. They are only protesting because they want what those on Wall St. have – money and power.
How then does one explain the preponderance of signs that say things like “I care about you.” The value that is expressed there is compassion. Another sign which caught the attention of writer and activist Naomi Klein was “Compassion is a radical act." According to Ms. Klein, the fact that people are holding up signs saying I care about you is a radical act. “If you think about what this culture teaches us to do, it really is not to care about each other, to harden our hearts to each other.”
This past weekend my 15 year old daughter went over to the home of one of her school mates. All of the kids put their stuff, purses, ipods, jackets, hoodies into a cupboard. When they went to retrieve them at the end of the evening, everything was either destroyed or missing. Which value is reflected in that behaviour – greed or compassion?
I am happy the protests are growing because like Ms. Klein and Dr. Suzuki, I believe that what people are speaking up about is not a lack of money, but a lack ethical values – values like respect, equality, fairness, honesty and compassion.
Those are the values that must be the foundation for any human society. There really is no option.
If you are not convinced open your eyes. The evidence is all around us.
Sandy Garossino – An Alternative Voice for Vancouver Voters
October 31, 2011
Can one voice make a difference?
Have you ever heard of Stella Bliss, Sherri Zarankin, or Michael Huck? In all likelihood the answer to that question is no, though the likelihood is quite high that you may have benefitted from the choice each of them made to speak up is pretty high.
Pregnant women in Canada today can collect employment insurance benefits because Stella Bliss spoke up and said it was not fair that she couldn’t collect employment insurance benefits simply because she was pregnant. Thousands of women and girls are protected from sexual harassment at work because Sherri Zarankin spoke up about the vulgar, coarse remarks, the touching and fondling she had to put up with at work. Accessibility for persons with disabilities in public spaces is something we take for granted because Michael Huck spoke up when he couldn’t watch a film in a theatre because there was no space for patrons like him who were confined to a wheelchair.
Human rights law is a branch of the law designed to empower individuals. It requires an individual, one person to stand up and say this is not fair. If that individual is willing to go the distance, their voice can have far reaching consequences.
Sandy Garossino is one of those people. Last Friday I had the honour and privilege to meet her. I learned that Ms. Garossino spoke up to prevent the expansion of gambling in Vancouver by co-founding the Vancouver Not Vegas Coalition, which successfully opposed the expansion of Edgewater Casino on the BC Place site.
I learned why Ms. Garossino is choosing to run as an independent in the upcoming municipal elections in Vancouver. She is speaking up about the “toxic politics” that keep the parties from working collaboratively. She is speaking up about the importance of engaging people, all people, in the process of governing through authentic public consultation. She is speaking up about the cost of living in Vancouver, artificially inflated by a housing market that is making a few people rich, while talented, hardworking and creative people cannot afford to live or move here.
Ms. Garossino is speaking up about the issues I care about. Like the late Jack Layton, she is a candidate aligned with my values. She is passionate about the issues I am passionate about.
After hearing her speak last week I felt inspired and hopeful. I want her voice to be heard at City Hall. I invite you to meet Sandy. http://votesandy.ca. I know you will be as impressed as I was.
Collectively we can use our power to make sure her voice is heard.
How do You Define Success?
November 8, 2011
Last week I posed a question on Twitter
How do U measure success? How important is money in the equation? How do we value making a difference, or effecting positive change?
I started thinking about this after listening to a CD I receive monthly from the National Speakers Association. One of the features focused on what speakers have to do to get their business to the next income level.
I started wondering if the million dollar speakers were those that had the most compelling messages, who could most effectively connect with, and affect change with their audiences. Or was their superior abilities in networking, marketing, or product development? Was it a combination of the two? I wondered how many of those million dollar speakers were male, given that while there are as many female as male speakers, men get booked for 80% of all speaking gigs.
Some of the most successful speakers are those that speak to others about selling. Their success is directly related to being able to increase the amount of money their audiences make. The definition of success in selling is pretty narrowly defined. The more you sell, the more money you make. I just read an article about how big pharma is now making a case to sell drugs like Ritalin to kids as young as 4.
That might make a lot of big pharma reps much more successful, but if that was how I made money, I am not sure that I would be able to sleep at night, even if I could afford the most comfortable bed money could buy, complete with sheets of Egyptian cotton.
I am starting to think that most of us now measure our success using those narrow “sales person” parameters. It is simply a numbers game. More money equals more success. End of story. Even if you are doing all kinds of good work, if you are not making any money, you are not really successful.
I want to be perfectly clear here. I have nothing against making money. I just have a belief that ethics and morals have a critically important place in that equation. I am very concerned that for many of us, that belief is no longer of any concern. And that moves us into what I view as very precarious territory. I believe that may be a big part of what is fuelling the Occupy protests. As I have written in recent posts, our values are out of whack.
I am an advocate for socially conscious capitalism, where success is defined by a triple bottom line – people, planet, profit. One of the affirmations I say during my early morning walk is “It is my responsibility to be successful.” I believe that it is. I have gifts, talents and abilities that benefit and enrich the lives of others. I am sole support for my daughter. There is nothing hindering me from living my purpose. Success is not an option. However, how I chose to define what that looks like is.
One twitter follower sent this quote from Maya Angelou in response to my question. “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” That certainly resonated with me.
Author Ron Haynes writes “Too many people think success is wrapped up in things, but the truth is success is wrapped up in how you see yourself, and how you’re able to enjoy your life.”
This one resonated as well. In 2010 I had my best year ever in terms of income but I really didn’t have a whole lot of fun. Since last month I have set the same intention every morning – to be joyful. To enjoy my life, to enjoy my work. That is how I am starting to define success.
What about you. How do you define success?
The RCMP - Zero Tolerance for Respect
November 16, 2011
On November 7th the CBC broke the story that Catherine Galliford, for years the public face of the RCMP as its official spokesperson s in B.C, had filed a complaint of sexual harassment. The following day I appeared as a guest on CBC radio’s BC Almanac with Mark Forsythe to discuss this latest allegation of sex harassment within the RCMP.
Ms. Galliford’s allegation did not remain the latest allegation for long. After her story broke, another former female Mountie, Krista Carle, spoke up about the harassment she had experienced during the course of her 20 year career. She and Ms. Galliford were fellow graduates in the class of 1991. Now they are both on medical leaves, both diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Ms. Galliford put up with the abuse until 2007. Ms. Carle lasted 2 years longer, until 2009.
Curious as to how the RCMP responded to these serious and damaging allegations? "The RCMP is committed to providing all its employees a work environment free of harassment, discrimination and conflict, where all employees are treated with respect and dignity. While we cannot speak to specific allegations, we continue to encourage our members to report incidents of harassment when they occur so they can be investigated immediately."
Isn’t it curious then, that Ms. Carle says that when she tried to report the harassment she was subjected to, rather than investigate, management tried to cover up the complaint. Ms. Galliford had a similar experience. Ms. Carle alleges that she knows a number of other women that have been harassed on the force.
I take it she is referring to women who have not yet come forward. The harsh reality of sex harassment as a condition of employment for women within the RCMP was established years ago with the case of Nancy Sulz, who received the highest monetary amount ever awarded in BC Supreme Court, just under a million dollars, to compensate for the “serious psychological harm” which she suffered from her commanding officer and two of his subordinates while working as an RCMP officer.
And yet In every article that has appeared since the Galliford story broke, we continue to read about the fact that the RCMP, like all other Federal Government agencies, has a “zero tolerance” policy with respect to harassment.
Isn’t is also curious then, that In spite of the zero-tolerance policy and a public commitment to providing a harassment free work environment, Ms. Sulz’s experience mirrors that of her colleagues, Ms. Carle and Ms. Galliford. She tried to get someone to investigate her complaint. In point of fact she tried 48 times. When the RCMP finally did investigate, none of her allegations were substantiated.
One has to wonder though, how the BC Supreme Court, hearing the same evidence, came to a startlingly different conclusion. The Court found that she had been so damaged by the harassment she might never be able to work again.
The other interesting fact is that Ms. Sulz’s case was decided in 2006, when both Ms. Galliford and Ms. Carle were still working. Yet, despite their zero-tolerance policy, and the clear confirmation that this policy had been breached, the RCMP continued to do business as usual, which within the RCMP means a disrespectful, command and control style of leadership combined with sexual harassment for those members of the force who happened to be female.
Here’s the thing about a zero-tolerance policy. It means nothing unless those in positions of power decide to enforce it. And it is beyond evident that those in positions of power within the RCMP have little or not interest in doing so. If they did, they would have already done so. It’s not like they don’t know what is going on. Since the Sulz decision, everybody has known.
The Harper Government is all up in arms. They are going to appoint a new commissioner and make sure that tackling this issue is the first order of business.
I am sorry Mr. Harper, Mr. McKay. Your credibility is a bit suspect at this point. The truth about the toxic disrespectful culture at the RCMP was only too evident after the Sulz award. But like those in positions of power at the RCMP, it is painstakingly obvious that dealing with harassment and abuses of power is really not high on the current government’s list of priorities.
The reality is that the RCMP, like every other federally regulated employer, was required to hire women because of employment equity legislation. A change was “forced” upon the force, and I have no doubt that those at the top would prefer things the way they were, when men were men and women were nowhere to be seen within the ranks of the RCMP.
And that is the beauty of this hollow, politically correct posturing. Doing nothing and allowing ongoing harassment will make sure there soon won’t be any women working as RCMP officers.
In an interview after her award, Ms. Sulz stated that she would not want her daughter to be a police officer. The latest allegations will work to ensure that scores of other young women will make a similar decision not to choose a career in the RCMP.
As a result there will be no more of these high profile sexual harassment complaints. The RCMP will proudly say that it’s zero tolerance policy is working.
I believe that the RCMP has a zero tolerance policy. But it is not zero tolerance for harassment. It is zero tolerance for equality. Zero tolerance for fairness. And zero tolerance for respect.
An Ounce of Prevention
December 11, 2011
At a recent networking event I was standing near a couple of younger women who were deep in a conversation about challenges they were facing at work. After introducing ourselves I learned that they both work in large organizations, each in a position of power.
One woman was talking about a staff member who seemed to have no idea as to what constituted appropriate workplace behaviour. Apparently this is a common problem because the other woman seemed to be experiencing a lot of the same issues at her workplace.
A plethora of “whys” and “shoulds” peppered the conversation. “Why would she behave like that? She should know that you can’t say something like that… Why doesn’t she know that you can’t do something like that…She should know that you can’t act like that…”
Their frustration with these situations was evident. As the exchange continued I noticed that they became both empowered and comforted by their shared sense of the issue, inaccurately framed as a problem with an individual employee rather than the possible symptom of a larger or systemic issue.
I have encountered this countless times in my consulting work. Employees engage in inappropriate behaviour, they tell off colour jokes, they throw paper clips at each other’s heads, they send rude emails, they raise their voices or use profanity, they dress provocatively, they have sexual relations in the office. The list goes on and on. Leaders shake their heads and wonder how this is happening, given that “they should know better.”
As I walked away from the conversation I thought to myself that the answer to all those why questions is very simple. The reason that the employee does not know what is or is not appropriate in her workplace is because no one has told her. In all likelihood neither of their workplaces has spent much time thinking about why that old expression “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” has stuck around for as long as it has.
A great deal of my time is spent dealing with problematic disrespectful behaviour in the workplace, the vast majority of which is absolutely preventable. One of the reasons it continues to occur is because many workplace leaders, like those two women I overheard, share some very flawed assumptions about behavioural norms in our contemporary, diverse society.
The assumption is that such norms exist. The assumption is that there is a common understanding of what appropriate, respectful and professional workplace behaviour looks like and that the people they are hiring to work for them possess this knowledge.
In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. There are no widely accepted norms. There is no common understanding. Years ago I was conducting focus groups with employees in a department that was having some major problems with disrespect. As we were wrapping up the subject of dress codes came up. One young woman said “ We have a casual dress code. It works fine.” Then she proceeded to get up and as she was walking out I saw the details of the tattoo she had on her lower back clearly visible in the space between her shirt and the top of her low rise jeans.
Appropriate for the street? Maybe. In an office? No, particularly if you want to avoid costly and disruptive problems like sexual harassment. That workplace might have a dress code, however, it was obvious to me that employee had no idea how she “should” be dressing at work.
As I reflected on what I heard that evening I wondered what, if any, action either of those women might take as a result of their conversation. In my experience, one flawed assumption often leads to another. If we assume that an employee should know better, we assume that the employee is to blame for what is going on. The employee and their problematic or inappropriate behaviour become one and the same. We see the person as the problem; a flawed and potentially costly perspective which encourages us to absolve ourselves of any responsibility for the inappropriate behaviour we are encountering in others.
Here’s a hot tip for you. If you are in a position of power in a workplace, you are responsible. And as Spiderman’s uncle said as he lay dying, with great power comes great responsibility. While I appreciate that life would be a whole lot easier for many workplace leaders if there was a common societal understanding of how to behave respectfully and professionally, given that there isn’t, adopting an “ounce of prevention” approach will ensure that one is created for the employees in your workplace.
The first step is to figure out what it is that you think that employees “should” know about how to conduct themselves appropriately, respectfully and professionally in your workplace. The fact that it is a workplace must be the anchor to any discussions. There must be a distinction between what people do or say at work, compared to what they might do or say outside of work. That distinction should frame the discussion.
When you have figured out what you think employees should know, don’t simply develop a policy and stick it in your employee handbook. By all means develop policies, but make sure that those policies serve as a springboard to widespread and ongoing discussions and dialogue with all employees. Start talking about what respectful and professional behaviour looks like. Rather than create a set of rules and impose them, demonstrate respect by involving employees with curiosity and questioning.
Structure these conversations so that all employees understand what it is that they “should” know about behavioural expectations in your workplace. Make sure that those conversations are incorporated into your hiring and onboarding practices. Make sure that workplace leaders and those they lead are supported, empowered and held accountable to take responsibility to speak up when they encounter behaviour that does not reflect the corporate standard.
An” ounce of prevention” summarizes the dominant theme in Road to Respect. If you want to eliminate the costly and toxic outcomes of workplace disrespect, you must be proactive. You have to create a workplace culture where respectful norms of behaviour are clearly defined, communicated, understood and demonstrated by everyone. Applying that old adage will ensure that your business reaps “a pound of cure” with ongoing, sustainable business success.